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STOP. You should not have touched this book with your bare hands. NO, don't put it down. It's too late. They're watching you. My name is David. My best friend is John. Those names are fake. You might want to change yours. You may not want to know about the things you'll read on these pages, about the sauce, about Korrok, about the invasion, and the future. But it's too late. You touched the book. You're in the game. You're under the eye. The only defense is knowledge. You need to read this book, to the end. Even the part with the bratwurst. Why? You just have to trust me.

The important thing is this: The sauce is a drug, and it gives users a window into another dimension. John and I never had the chance to say no. You still do.

Unfortunately for us, if you make the right choice, we'll have a much harder time explaining how to fight off the otherworldly invasion currently threatening to enslave humanity.

I'm sorry to have involved you in this, I really am. But as you read about these terrible events and the very dark epoch the world is about to enter as a result, it is crucial you keep one thing in mind: None of this was my fault.

[Pargin] is like a mash-up of Douglas Adams and Stephen King . . . . 'page-turner' is an understatement." ―Don Coscarelli, director, Phantasm I-IV, Bubba Ho-tep and, of course, John Dies At The End

This book includes the commentary from the characters and author that was originally added to the 10th anniversary edition. Also included, a new Foreword written by Don Coscarelli especially for this edition.

Signed Limited Hardcover Edition:

  • Artist(s): M.K. Komins has created wraparound dust jacket art as well as four interior illustrations
  • A special Foreword, new to this edition, by Don Coscarelli director, Phantasm I-IV, Bubba Ho-tep and, of course, John Dies At The End
  • Trim size: 6 x 9 inches
  • Binding: Cloth-bound hardcover, Smyth Sewn
  • Printed in two colors on 60# Natural Eggshell acid-free paper
  • 509 pages
  • Edition: Signed, limited to 500 hand-numbered copies

Product info: in stock, published by MidWorld Press